A word on community Moderators/organizers: (To clear up some confusion)
This is compiled from a variety of situations that have occurred and do not apply to anyone specifically.
As community moderators, we are here to try to facilitate our community to be active, have meets and have fun. We stop/remove things from our social channels that shouldn’t be there (I.e. Fighting, porn, negativity, etc). We try to make sure that everyone is informed about what’s going on, where it is, and how to get involved. Mistakes happen sometimes, we’re only human. Getting angry about it doesn’t fix it.
We are NOT counsellors, mediators, police, judges, juries, or executioners. We’re not going to take sides, and we’re not your goon squad just because we might have tried to help resolve an issue. We have no control over who talks, when or to who. We can’t make people ignore or un-ignore you. That’s their choice alone. We might often try to assist you in resolving whatever issues you might have going on, but ultimately if it doesn’t pertain to the community as a whole, it’s not our problem.
We’re not going to ban someone just because YOU had a disagreement / dislike them. That’s your personal issue. We might, however, ask someone to leave our groups if there is repeated breaking of the communities rules, constantly bringing negativity to the group, or in general making the group not want to do or be involved in things that “they” are, even is “they”=you.
Some of us might be willing to chat with you if you’re having a bad day. We might even offer advice based on our personal experiences to try to help. To my knowledge though, none of us are licensed clinical social workers. We are not / cannot be your daily therapist. If you have things that need a therapist, go get a therapist. If you can’t afford it, there are places that offer free help. If you’re suicidal, we’re going to give you the number to the suicide hotline where there are people trained specifically to help you with your crisis. This doesn’t mean we have abandoned you or refuse to help you. It means that most of us are not trained / equipped to handle your crisis and giving you a resource better than us is the best help we can give. On top of that, Most of us have our own issues, and are doing our best just to hang on to ourselves.
We have lives. Yes, that means we cannot necessarily be in the chat active 24 hours a day. We’re not paid, we don’t do “shifts”. We’re there when we’re there. If you need to get someone’s attention, go to the help/support page on MDFurs.org and put in an email. That still doesn’t guarantee how long it will be till one of us sees it, but we will eventually.
Getting upset / angry / calling us or anyone else derogatory names because we didn’t immediately do whatever it is you think we should have done in a particular situation is not the best way to resolve your issue, and is the fastest way to get onto an ignore list or asked to leave. We are people too, we have feelings, and NO ONE is obligated to stand still and take verbal (written) abuse because youre angry. Not here, not out in the world, not anywhere. If you’re so angry you cant talk civilly to someone, walk away. Go do something else, calm down, get your head back on straight and then come talk like the grown adults you should be. Throwing a public fit and rage quitting only makes you look bad.
The moderators are not the be all end all of “MarylandFurs”, we have over 300 people listed in our community. Please don’t declare our community a bad one because you have a disagreement with a few. It’s not everyone’s problem, it’s your (and by extension the person you’re dealing with) problem. Running a smear campaign on the group because you’re angry only makes you look like a dick.
In the end, we’re all here to just have fun, everyone. We’re not paid, we’re not making money, we’re spending our precious free time to try to help our community grow and have fun. So please, give it a break. If you don’t agree with how a moderator handled something, talk to another one. That doesn’t mean it will change, but maybe a different set of eyes will help.
TLDR: we moderate, not mediate. We’re not counsellors or police. Personal issues are just that, personal. Not community issues. Don’t bring the negativity, or you might be asked to leave until you can play nice. Be nice, play nice, have fun. Leave your personal issues and problems at home.
If you made it this far, thanks for taking the time to read it. Please take a moment to thank not only our Moderators (Rexxie, Kit, Irime, MiltoniusPrime, Lalo Grumpus, and Chiswick) but also don’t forget to thank the hosts of the meets you go to. Without them, we wouldnt have so many great meets to go to.